Parents are ready to engage - are we ready to listen?
What the National Parent Survey 2025 tells us about trust, relationships and the school-parent partnership
By Karen Dempster and Justin Robbins
Co-authors of The Four Pillars of Parental Engagement
The National Parent Survey 2025 lays bare what many schools sense but struggle to solve: for too many families, the school gate feels more like a barrier than a welcome.
Drawn from nearly 6,000 voices, the survey shows that two million children are unhappy at school, one in five has been bullied, and almost a million feel unsafe. More than 850,000 parents report feeling lonely every day - and one in three finds parenting difficult. Many parents are isolated, uncertain, and under pressure. The result? Engagement becomes a challenge - not due to lack of care, but lack of connection.
This isn’t about parents not trying hard enough. It’s about the conditions we create as schools - intentionally or otherwise - and whether they enable or hinder trust, clarity, and shared purpose.
Reframing what we mean by parental engagement
At Fit2Communicate, we define parental engagement not as attendance at events, nor as responses to messages - but as a culture. A relationship. A way of working where parents feel informed, involved, and able to act confidently in support of their child’s learning and wellbeing.
And it works both ways. Engagement is about how schools listen, share decisions, build rapport, and create an environment where parents feel like they belong.
Too often, engagement is considered to be purely about communication. But we’ve seen time and again: a perfectly written newsletter cannot fix a fractured relationship. Nor can it replace a sense of partnership.
This is why we created The Four Pillars of Parental Engagement - Knowledge, Environment, Culture, and Communication. These pillars offer a structure to reflect on, embed, and grow the kind of parental engagement that creates real impact.
But before any framework, we start with the human.
Start with trust - and build from there
The most powerful school-parent relationships begin with a simple foundation: trust. And trust is built not in big gestures but in everyday, consistent interactions - how a concern is responded to, how a mistake is handled, how a child’s needs are explained or heard.
Ask yourself:
What do we mean by engagement in our setting?
Where do families feel confident and connected - and where do they hesitate?
What patterns do we see in who gets involved and who doesn't?
What are we doing consistently well - and where do parents tell us, even silently, that we’re falling short?
Then go further:
What’s our focus not just for this term, but for the year?
How are we planning to grow our parental engagement strategy over the next three years, as part of our school business plan?
Where are we building for the long term - not just responding to the latest problem?
These reflections help us see parental engagement as a long-term, strategic commitment - not an ad hoc initiative.
When trust is in place, everything gets easier
Let’s take some of the survey’s most concerning findings and look at them through the lens of trusted relationships.
Bullying and behaviour
The survey reveals that two million children have been bullied in the last year, and almost three million have had learning disrupted due to poor behaviour. That’s not just a behaviour management issue. It’s a relational one. When parents are engaged, concerns are raised earlier, escalations are fewer, and interventions are more collaborative. A trusted relationship means a parent feels they can come in and work with staff - not against them.
Parent isolation
The reality that 860,000 parents feel lonely every day and one in three finds parenting difficult isn’t just sad - it’s significant. It tells us many families may not feel they have people they can turn to when something goes wrong. Schools can’t fix isolation, but they can be part of the solution - by creating low-pressure, regular opportunities for parents to feel part of something. That might be an informal coffee morning, a parent buddy scheme, or simply making space for conversations that aren’t just transactional.
So what does this look like in practice?
Building a culture of engagement is about doing the small things consistently. Here are just a few practical strategies aligned with our Four Pillars:
Knowledge
Create an Information Finder or “Where to find what” guide for parents.
Share clear examples of why certain actions at home help learning.
Help families understand the why behind school strategies - not just the what.
Environment
Walk through your school - website, reception, signage - like a new parent.
Ask: Does this feel welcoming, accessible, inclusive?
Offer flexible, informal ways for families to connect - online or in person. Ask for parent feedback to understand what this could look like in practice.
Culture
Share “You said, we did” messages to demonstrate action from feedback.
Be transparent about decision-making, especially when it’s hard.
Involve parents in planning, not just reviewing.
Communication
Use the Traffic Light approach - a method for telling parents which information is most important:
Red is for urgent and critical - what parents need to know, or where they need to take immediate action
Amber is for important topics - like confirming attendance or replying to information requests
Green is for nice to know information - telling parents about school activities that don't need them to take any further action
Coordinate messages with an “Air Traffic Controller” role - one person keeping an eye on communications volume and timing. Refer to the Air Traffic Control approach to support them.
Regularly review not just the clarity of what’s sent, but whether it’s understood.
Find out how you are doing on each pillar using the Four Pillars Self-evaluation.
A final thought
Parental engagement isn’t an extra job. It’s a way of being. A culture that says: we see parents as partners, not problems; as part of the team, not an audience to manage.
When engagement is rooted in trust, everything else becomes easier. And when schools and families work together with clarity, respect and purpose, young people can be at their best.
At Fit2Communicate, we’re here to help schools build that culture - one conversation, one pillar, and one trusted relationship at a time.
Further resources:
Four Pillars of Parental Engagement overview - what parents need
The Four Pillars of Parental Engagement book
Building Bridges Report: Enhancing Parental Engagement in Modern Education
Like what you're reading and want to take this further?
Our new guided programme, Building Trusted Relationships with Parents, helps schools strengthen how they connect and communicate with families, all built around The Four Pillars of Parental Engagement.
Delivered through Arro, our practical online system that turns ideas into action. You’ll find interactive materials, clear actions, useful templates, and activities your team can put into practice straight away. Arro makes sure learning doesn’t just sit on a screen, it shows up in your school.
Register your school to take part and start building stronger, more confident relationships with parents and carers.
